Boom, 40 in the pocket. Hello 41. Yep, holy smokes, I turned 41 today. (Happy Birthday Floris) “Thank you, thank you”. It’s indeed quite the achievement. But it’s not just about the age, it’s what it stands for.
Pssst, there’s an audible #blogiside video embedded at the end of this post 🙂
Being alone in life isn’t all that great, because life’s tough. rough, and unforgiving. But we fill it with those around us. Acquaintances, strangers that can become new friends, friends, who can become close friends. And of course family. Sometimes even a partner, for some a life partner. But it’s not just about that either.
At any age you have gained life experiences, you learned from trying a million things, and you figure out what you’re bad at, or really terrible at. What’s right and wrong, or what you’re good at, or actually have a talent for. And throughout life you learn from your mistakes, and you find happiness, .. but .. that’s not what this is just about as well.
We reflect on what we do, on who we are. We ask ourselves where we want to go, who we want to be. And there are questions you can never answer at any age. But once or twice in your life you find out a few things about yourself, about the environment you live in, and learn about what’s important. And we enlighten through that process. We figure out what we want, what our path is. Who is important in our lives, where we stand, what we want to aim for. How hard we have to work to achieve that. And eventually that comes with internal happiness.
For me, that’s what today’s anniversary is about. Who I am inside my mind. Where my ‘soul’, if you wish to call it that, is headed to. What I feel in regards to happiness and all that good and bad stuff. It’s not just about being 41 today, or having been here forty plus years and feeling ‘that’s me checking off that I’m probably halfway there’. It’s not about those negative experiences, lost loves, missed opportunities or sleepless nights. It’s about that feeling of being free in my mind, feeling rich in my soul.
No matter what. How can I not realise and think back about everything that I have done, and everybody that I have known (and still know of course), from friends, family, to even my pets. From hobbies that I had, to places I have been. How can I not realise how far I have come and know what privileges I have despite all the setbacks and feeling imprisoned by my visual disability and all the shit that comes with it.
Life’s rough, tough, and unforgiving. But it’s my life, and I can ignore or take opportunities that present itself. I can walk a path or choose to step off the yellow brick fucking road. I can stay, or leave and change it all. And it’s only been forty years of playing in the crib, sandbox, schoolyard, attic, online in virtual worlds, and feeling nothing but inspired, creative, motivated, and ready to discover and learn more. …
… You can’t take that away from me Universe, because it’s not just about being 41 from this point forward, it’s about having beaten you at your own game.
Because tomorrow, I am doing it all over again.